Khloé Kardashian has always been open about the ups and downs of motherhood, but in a recent candid revelation, she admitted that she struggled to connect with her son, Tatum, after his birth.

The reality star, 39, confessed that the experience left her feeling frustrated and guilty, emotions she never expected to battle as a mother of two.

During an intimate conversation on the latest episode of The Kardashians, Khloé shared that welcoming Tatum via surrogacy was a vastly different experience from giving birth to her daughter, True, in 2018. “I thought it would be an instant connection,” she admitted. “But in those first few weeks, I found myself really struggling, and I was really mad at myself for feeling that way.”

Khloé Kardashian and son Tatum. Photo: Khloe Kardashian/Instagram

Noting that her experiences bonding with daughter True, 6, and Tatum, 2, were very different, Kardashian attributed some of those discrepancies to the varying emotional states she was in after each birth.

“I do think it was a storm of either traumas or emotions. I mean I knew he was my son and I loved him and I took care of him, but I just did not have that instinctual feeling that I had with True instantly,” she says about Tatum.

“But I knew I was going to get there. I didn’t think Tatum was going to be 5 years old and I would have no attachment to him. I never thought that at all. I simply was really mad at myself,” she continues. “Those feelings are not about Tatum. He is the best, sweetest, most loving boy. It was the situation and everything that I went through. I was more mad at myself that I couldn’t get over it faster.”

She goes on to say that she made sure to never let Tatum know the difference and also felt like it was important to be honest about her feelings on the show.

“I never heard the other side of surrogacy, like ‘Oh you don’t really feel connected.’ And then you feel ashamed in admitting that, where I just was like, ‘Listen, I know my situation had like cheating and other things involved, so I’m sure mine’s layered,’ ” Kardashian says. “But I wanted people to know that there’s definitely different ways this can go.”

During a January episode of her podcast Khloé in Wonder Land, the mom of two spoke about childhood trauma, noting that although her two kids have great lives, it’s likely that they’ll still have some kind of trauma to work through when they get older.

“We all have trauma. Whether it be big, or small. I always joke, I’m like, ‘Well my kids better not talk about childhood trauma because they have the best freaking lives,’ ” Kardashian said in the podcast.

“And they do! But it’s going to happen. It’s the inevitable,” she added.

New episodes of The Kardashians premiere Thursdays on Hulu.